How To Marry A Frafra Woman

In previous times, it was possible for a Fafra girl to marry a man she hardly knows. Usually, at the market or during festivals, funerals, or when men go to farm in a different village, the man and his friends will plot and lure the girl to the outskirts of the market and then carry her to their village. Sometimes, the girl will resist, other times she will not resist, especially if she is interested. However, most times, even if she is not interested and she resists, it doesn’t matter, she will still be carried away to the man’s house. Once in the man’s house, the man and his friends will organize all sorts of entertainment to keep her entertained so that she does not think about her father’s house. People in the village will troupe to the man’s house to catch a glimpse of her and know her. The girl is not allowed to go anywhere alone. Even if she is going to urinate, someone must follow her. Many girls have escaped back to their father’s house in such circumstances, so it came to times that each time a woman is carried away to a man's home in marriage attempts, she is often closely monitored. Read More

Marriages in Ghana come in different unique cultural formulas most of which are very beautiful and unique. Today I will be looking into one unique tribe in Ghana called The Frafra.

It is common to hear among men that frafra women are not only sexy, love sex but also very hard working women who never break the bond between them and where they come from.

The Frafra marriage is unique among many cultures. Frafra Marriage involves the union of two families rather than two individuals.

The family of the man has to convince those of the woman that they are capable of taking care of their daughter. The test involves the man’s family taking a number of smoked guinea fowls, kola, tobacco, and drinks to the woman’s house a number of times before the woman’s family agrees to start formal proceedings.

How To Marry A Frafra Woman 1

In previous times, it was possible for a Frafra girl to marry a man she hardly knows. Usually, at the market or during festivals, funerals, or when men go to the farm in a different village, the man and his friends will plot and lure the girl to the outskirts of the market and then carry her to their village. Sometimes, the girl will resist, other times she will not, especially if she is interested.

However, most times, even if she is not interested, it doesn’t matter, she will still be carried away to the man’s house. Once in the man’s house, the man and his friends will organize all sorts of entertainment to keep her entertained so that she does not think about returning to her parent’s house. People in the village will troupe to the man’s house to catch a glimpse to know her.

The girl is not allowed to go anywhere alone. Even if she is going to urinate, someone must follow her. Many girls have escaped back to their father’s house in such circumstances, so it came to times that each time a woman is carried away to a man’s home in marriage attempts, she is often closely monitored.

The next day, the family head will send someone to the girl’s father’s house to inform them that they have their daughter.

On this first visit, the man’s family will take along three smoked guinea fowls, locally brewed gin, a couple of kola nuts, and some tobacco. Sometimes, the girl’s parents will reject this on the first visit, other times, they will accept the items but they will not tell the visitors any better thing.

Usually, they are told to go and come back another time because the elder of the house has traveled even if the elder is among them. This is always the beginning of the test.

However, the man camping the woman against her will or the will of her parents is also now encouraged to work hard, fuck her well to get her pregnant. This is often advised, even if the girl or her parents are still showing signs of refusing to continue with the marriage. Once she is pregnant, she will definitely have to stay. Moreover, it is assumed that once the man begins to fuck her well, she will become more emotionally attached to him and will not be willing to leave.

The next visit to the girl’s parents’ house will still not produce any better outcome. In some cases, the man’s family will be made to visit the girl’s house more than 3 to 4 times before they now accept them and ask them to begin formal marriage arrangements.

Indeed, among the Nabdams and the Talensi, the man’s family might visit the girl’s house more than 7 to 8 times before they accept to begin formal arrangements.

This can be so costly because every visit, you carry along with the same things, 3 guinea fowls, kola nuts, local gin, and tobacco. When the girl’s family finally agrees to start the marriage rites, the man’s family will now invite them to come to their house and “drink water.”  

The girl’s family will send young men with a few elderly men to accompany them to the man’s house. The visit is usually done late at night when the man’s family is expected to kill a dog, two goats, and a number of fowls. This meat is not eaten in the man’s house but rather taken back to the girl’s father’s house. This process is called “hand running.”

A few days later, the man’s family will then send an old man along with a big cock and kola, sheep, or cows (but not necessary) to the girl’s family for the knocking rite.

This process is very important because without it any child born to them will belong to the girl’s family.  So this is a crucial step.

For some families, especially those in the Talensi and the Nabdam areas, this process is skipped at this stage and made to come last because once the man’s family does this process, they can decide to delay paying the cows.

The next step is the payment of four cows. This could be paid in installments or all at once. This also goes with a batakari cloth to the girl’s father.

In these modern times, the four cows required as part of the marriage requirements are now reduced to two or three but this depends on the girl’s family. Some families will insist on the 4 cows while others will not.

If for whatever reason, the man attempting to marry the Frafra girl refuses to pay her bride prices of 4 cows, the girl’s family will wait patiently till she gives birth to a girl, and when the girl becomes mature enough to marry and she gets married, her bride’s pride will be used to pay for her mother’s unfulfilled bride price.

In modern days, the issue of paying the 4 cows has come under heavy attack, and some parents, recognizing the economic hardships do not pressure their in-laws for the cows but rather urge the man to use that and take good care of their daughter.

The payment of the 4 cows has been a reason why some Frafra men cannot marry. It also explains why most foreigners are not always willing to marry Frafra women and the reason why most Frafra men marry women outside the tribe in order to avoid all these.

Once the man and woman are formally married, the man, accompanied by some of his loyal friends, will occasionally visit his wife’s parents to formally greet them and sometimes to farm for the in-laws.